On May 1, 2022, Pastor Josh White opened God’s Word to address one of life’s most important — and often most misunderstood — relationships: marriage between a husband and a wife.
Grounded in 1 Peter 3:1–7, with reference to Ephesians 5, Josh walked through three specific responsibilities God gives in Scripture for the marriage relationship: two for wives, one for husbands. His central point was convicting and encouraging: God’s design for marriage isn’t a burden — it’s wisdom for a relationship that actually works.
God’s Wisdom for Marriage
Peter begins this section by calling all believers to honor everyone, love the brotherhood, and fear God (1 Peter 2:17). He then addresses specific relationships — government, workplace, and marriage. Why? Because God knows that when we follow His instructions for these areas, life goes better for everyone.
When we live the way God tells us to, it actually serves as a testimony to the world that God’s way is best.
“Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor.”
— 1 Peter 2:16–17
The Wife’s Role: Submission and Inner Beauty
Peter addresses wives first, calling them to be submissive to their husbands — even husbands who may not yet believe. This was radical in the first-century context, where women were often treated as little more than property.
But submission isn’t the whole picture. God has a purpose in it:
“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that some, even if they do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”
— 1 Peter 3:1–2
A wife’s conduct before her husband — her reverence, her purity, her Christ-like character — becomes a powerful testimony. It can point an unsaved husband toward faith, even without a single argument or word of correction.
Peter then adds a warning about where not to place emphasis:
“Do not let your adorning be external — the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry or the clothing you wear — but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.”
— 1 Peter 3:3–4
This isn’t a prohibition on taking care of one’s appearance. It’s a reorientation: character over cosmetics. The “imperishable beauty” of a gentle, quiet spirit — a heart fixed on God — is what He values most. It’s the kind of reputation that outlasts everything else.
The Husband’s Role: Understanding and Honor
Peter then turns to husbands with an equally weighty command:
“Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”
— 1 Peter 3:7
The word “likewise” signals parallel importance — this isn’t optional or secondary. God commands husbands to dwell with their wives in an understanding way, which means actively seeking to understand their deepest physical, mental, and emotional needs.
And He calls husbands to show honor to their wives — not use physical strength as leverage, but as protection and cherishing. Paul puts it even more strongly in Ephesians: husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church — sacrificially, tenderly, completely.
Peter’s motivation here is striking: how a husband treats his wife directly affects the effectiveness of his prayers. This is serious business.
So What?
God’s design for marriage isn’t about one person being more valuable than another. It’s about two different roles, designed by a loving God, working together in harmony.
Whether you’re married or not, this passage has something to say. If you are married, God has assigned you a role — submit to one another (Ephesians 5:21) out of reverence for Christ. That’s countercultural in every generation.
If you’re single, be encouraged: God hasn’t forgotten you. His design for marriage exists because He loves marriage — and because it points us to something even bigger: the relationship between Christ and His church.
“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her… This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.”
— Ephesians 5:25, 32
When a husband loves his wife as Christ loves the church, and when a wife respects her husband as the church respects Christ — the world sees a picture of the gospel. That’s the ultimate purpose of marriage.
Scripture References
- 1 Peter 2:16–17 — Living as servants of God
- 1 Peter 3:1–2 — Wives and submission: a conduct that wins without a word
- 1 Peter 3:3–4 — Inner beauty over external adorning
- 1 Peter 3:7 — Husbands: understanding, honor, and the weaker vessel
- Ephesians 5:21–33 — Mutual submission and Christ’s love for the church