Pastor Josh White opened his message with a personal story — buying a car with his son Caleb. In that negotiation, Josh realized something: his relationship with the salesman was a transaction, not a friendship. Both parties wanted to win. But his relationship with Caleb was different — his concern wasn’t for himself, it was for his son.
That contrast sets up what would become the heart of the message: God cares deeply about relationships. He initiated the restoration of our relationship with Him through Christ, and He cares just as much about the relationships we have with one another (John 17:23).
Why Relationships Matter to God
Jesus prayed in John 17 that we would be one — just as He and the Father are one. When we are truly unified, the world sees something that points them to the gospel.
But unity doesn’t happen automatically. Pastor Josh pointed out that if all of us are in tune with Christ, we will naturally live in harmony with each other — the way an orchestra stays in tune by each matching the piano, not by trying to match each other.
That’s exactly why God instituted the local church. It’s where we learn to be in tune with Christ and practice the “one another” commands of Scripture together. And the most natural place to do that? Small groups.
Five Ways to Build Healthy Relationships
Pastor Josh walked through Romans 12:9–16, pulling out five commands that show us exactly how to have healthy relationships within the body of Christ:
1. Love One Another with Brotherly Affection
Paul uses the word philadelphia — brotherly love, the love of friendship and shared mission. When you make Christ’s mission your mission, you surround yourself with people who share that same purpose. You support them. You encourage them. You don’t let each other forget what you’re called to.
“Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.”
— Romans 12:9-10
2. Outdo One Another in Showing Honor
This isn’t about waiting for someone to honor you first. It’s about going first — looking for opportunities to tell people they are valued. Pastor Josh encouraged the congregation: find someone serving faithfully and thank them for it. It’s easy, it’s free, and it’s one of the best ways to build others up.
Think about it — how easy would it be to come to church every Sunday looking for ten people to honor for something you see them doing? That’s what this command invites us into.
3. Contribute to the Needs of the Saints and Show Hospitality
When we think about others, we stop thinking only about ourselves. And that’s exactly what we need. Everyone has physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. The question is: are we paying attention to them?
“Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.”
— Romans 12:13
God puts the responsibility on us to take initiative. If everyone does this, the body of Christ becomes genuinely healthy.
4. Rejoice with Those Who Rejoice and Weep with Those Who Weep
Pastor Josh called this a true sign of maturity. Immature people see everything through the lens of themselves. Mature people give themselves permission to feel alongside other people — to celebrate when someone gets a promotion, and to offer a word of comfort when someone is in pain.
“Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.”
— Romans 12:15
We don’t have to solve everyone’s problems. Sometimes people just need to know they’re not alone. That’s what healthy relationships do — they remind us we’re loved and not forgotten.
5. Live in Harmony with One Another
This is perhaps the most challenging one. Harmony doesn’t mean we all agree on every preference. It means all of us humble ourselves and put Christ first — not each other. If we’re all in tune with Christ, we’ll naturally be in tune with each other.
“Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.”
— Romans 12:16
Why Small Groups Are Essential
Even Jesus had different sizes of groups in His ministry — the crowds, the disciples, the Twelve, and even the inner circle of Peter, James, and John. If it was important enough for Jesus, it’s important enough for us.
In a large church, it’s easy to get lost, easy to be overlooked, and easy to have zero accountability. Small groups are where the “one another” commands become possible. They’re where someone can lovingly tell you, “Hey, I think you might be out of tune.”
“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”
— Hebrews 10:24-25
So What?
If you can’t identify a smaller group of people within GBC Phoenix that you regularly fellowship with — this is your invitation. Small groups are forming right now. That’s not a coincidence.
If you can identify a group, ask yourself: are you actively loving these people, honoring them, contributing to their needs, sharing in their joys and sorrows, and living in harmony with them?
Relationships matter. God invented them. He cares about them. And He calls us to put in the effort to make them as healthy as they can be.
Scripture References
- John 17:23 — Jesus prays for unity among believers
- Romans 12:9-16 — Five “one another” commands for healthy relationships
- Hebrews 10:24-25 — Stirring up love and good works through community