Children and parents both hear commands in Colossians 3. Josh White points out that the instruction to obey is not a tool for parents to get their way. It sits inside a household shaped by the Lord: children are called to obey, and parents are warned not to crush the courage of the children they are raising.
Children obey the Lord
Paul gives children a clear charge, and Josh White grounds it in God’s authority rather than convenience. Obedience is not simply doing what feels reasonable in the moment. It is a way children honor God as they learn to live under the care and direction of their parents. The command is for their good, not a permission slip for harshness or selfish control.
“Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.”
— Colossians 3:20
That is a serious calling, and it is also a hopeful one. God sees ordinary family life. The small decisions to listen, respond, and follow through matter because they are made before him. Parents should teach children what obedience means, explain what is expected, and help them grow toward maturity—not demand instant compliance without instruction.
Parents lead toward maturity
Josh White turns the passage toward the responsibility of parents. Authority is given for service. Parents are charged to teach their children God’s Word, to train them, and to discipline them with their good in view. That work takes patience and consistency. It cannot be handed off entirely to church or school; parents have a daily calling to point their children toward the Lord.
“Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.”
— Colossians 3:21
Paul’s warning names the danger: a child can be worn down and discouraged by the very people meant to guide them. Josh describes ways parents can provoke or discourage children—being inconsistent, comparing siblings, refusing to listen, dismissing their feelings, setting expectations they cannot meet, or demanding obedience without teaching. These are not excuses to abandon discipline. They are reminders that discipline must be joined to instruction, fairness, and care.
Correction that builds up
Parents will fail. The answer is not pretending otherwise, but taking responsibility and returning to the work with humility. Explain the reason for a boundary. Listen before dismissing a child. Avoid comparisons that make one child feel like a disappointment. A child needs correction, but also needs to know that correction comes from a parent committed to their good.
This passage also speaks to those who are not raising children right now. We all live under God’s care and authority, and we can encourage parents and children rather than adding shame. Josh White’s point is that family life is a place to practice faithful love in ordinary, imperfect moments.
So What?
Children: ask God to help you obey your parents in a way that honors him. Parents: choose one moment this week to slow down, listen carefully, and explain the instruction you are giving. If you have discouraged your child, own it and ask forgiveness. God calls parents to lead with purpose, and he calls children to obey in the Lord.
Discussion Questions
- How does Colossians connect a child’s obedience with pleasing the Lord?
- What is the difference between teaching obedience and merely demanding it?
- Which discouraging patterns Josh White named—such as inconsistency or comparison—are easiest for adults to overlook?
- How can someone without children support a family in practicing patient, faithful instruction?
- What specific conversation or change could you make this week in response to this passage?
Scripture References
- Colossians 3:20-21 — Children and parents in the Lord
- Ephesians 6:1-4 — Obedience, nurture, and instruction
- Romans 15:5-6 — Benediction: endurance, encouragement, and unity