Relationships are one of the few areas of life we actually have control over. While we can’t control how people treat us or respond to us, we can control how we treat others and the time and energy we put into building healthy relationships. Solomon reminds us in Ecclesiastes that life is not meant to be lived alone.
The Value of Community
During Solomon’s life, no one had it better than him. He was the wealthiest, most powerful, and most prestigious person on earth during his time. Yet for all his wealth and power, his personal relationships were a mess. With 700 wives and 300 concubines, there was never any peace in that household.
Solomon wrote from this experience in Ecclesiastes chapter 4, sharing insights about the value of community that remain profoundly practical today.
Three Reasons Why Relationships Matter
1. Accountability Towards Holiness
“Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up.”
— Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
God wants us to be in relationships with others that will help us when we fall in our relationship with Him. There are times when we all stray—whether we get caught up in sin, fall into negative thought patterns, or simply get distracted and chase after meaningless things.
When that happens, we need people in our lives to pick us back up and point us toward the holiness God desires for us. This is why the apostle Paul writes in Galatians 6:1: “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.”
The question is not just “Is there someone in my life who will pick me up?” but “Am I that person for someone else?”
2. Encouragement
“If two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone?”
— Ecclesiastes 4:11
When life gets hard, cruel, and unjust—when the harsh realities of life come upon us—we need someone to keep us warm. We all go through difficult times: physical suffering, emotional pain, financial struggles, relational brokenness.
Paul commands us in Romans 12:15: “Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep.” This is not a suggestion—it’s a command. When something good happens, we want to share it with someone. But how tragic when we share good news and the person doesn’t genuinely rejoice with us.
Being able to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep requires yielding to the Holy Spirit. It also requires humility—counting others more significant than yourself, as Philippians 2:3-4 tells us.
3. Protection Against Our Enemy
“And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a three-fold cord is not quickly broken.”
— Ecclesiastes 4:12
When we are alone, we are vulnerable to sin, wrong thinking, and chasing after the wind. But when we are together, we are resilient and strong. Spiritual warfare is real—we have an enemy looking to devour us.
In Ephesians 4:11-16, Paul explains that God gave gifts to the church—not for individual consumption but for building up the body of Christ. We were created to function together as members of the body of Christ. Only together can we be built up into the fullness of Christ.
When we face temptations and discouragement, the body of Christ protects each other. There’s always value in having an extra set of eyes because there are things in our lives that we don’t see ourselves.
Why the Local Church Matters
God created local churches so that within these communities we can find and experience the benefits of relationships. Churches can’t create friendships—they can only create the opportunities for friendships. Each of us must take the initiative.
At Grace Bible Church, we use the “boats” analogy: our Sunday worship service is like a ferry boat—everyone heading in the same direction, but not where relationships form. Relationships grow in smaller boats: Sunday school classes, men’s and women’s Bible studies, and especially life groups.
Life groups answer the question: “Who am I supposed to practice the ‘one another’ commands towards?” With 150-200 people in our church, it’s impossible to fulfill all the “one another” commands to everyone. Life groups are where you take initiative to pick someone up when they’ve fallen, to warm them up when life gets cold.
The Purpose of Life
Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment is, and He answered in Matthew 22:36-40: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the law and the prophets.”
Relationships are the reason why we exist. This is our purpose. This is not chasing after the wind—this is our calling.
Application
Ask yourself: If you were to fall, is there anyone in your life who cares about your holiness enough to restore you? Are you that person for someone else?
If you know someone who is “chasing the wind”—doing their own thing, not pursuing their relationship with God—reach out to them. Remind them of God’s purpose for their life. Do it with grace and truth.
If you know someone going through a difficult time, take initiative. Don’t let someone live life alone. Sometimes people just need someone to listen—not to fix their problems.
Life groups are starting up again. If you’re not in one, sign up. If you’ve been in a micro group or triad, get in touch with each other and prioritize those relationships. This is why we were created.
As we close, may we live in harmony with one another in accordance with Christ Jesus, that together we may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Scripture References
- Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 — The value of community
- Matthew 22:36-40 — The greatest commandments
- Galatians 6:1 — Bearing one another’s burdens
- Romans 12:14-15 — Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep
- Philippians 2:3-5 — Considering others more significant
- Ephesians 4:11-16 — The body of Christ built up in love
- Romans 15:5-6 — Living in harmony